The Loch Ness Blogger

FIFA to re-examine technology after mistakes
This could redefine everything we know about whistle technology.

Mass. official aims to shame library porn viewers
Immediately after Bingo Night at St. Christpher's.

Camo-wearing bowhunters marry in tree in Iowa
Onlookers were heard to ask, “Why is that priest talking to himself up in that tree?”

Scientists say test could predict menopause
The response to “Are you still on the rag?” determines a positive/negative outcome.

Does Reality TV Misrepresent Black Women?
Sho' nuff that's right!

Benefits running out for jobless
Being jobless has benefits?

Some 70,000 turtle eggs to be whisked far from oil

Proof that liberals don't trust evolution!

Calif. woman says Chihuahua died saving her kids
"They were hungry and it was snack time!

After 25 years, CNN seeks Larry King's replacement
About time. They've been replacing parts of him for years!

No condoms for grade schoolers, Mass. schools say
I don't remember Sunday school being so risky.

Some 70,000 turtle eggs to be whisked far from oil
You don't want to add the oil until you are ready to cook the omelet.

Police to release review of Gates arrest in Mass.
You are forgiven and have the right to remain silent!

I vote for the blog before I voted against the blog.

Navy to allow women to serve on submarines
Insert semen joke: Here.

Mass. Cape Wind gets thumbs up, thumbs down
Sounds like a classic John Kerry vote.

'This is Alabama; we speak English,' governor candidate says
Confarnit, I reckon they do!

Woman bites man after being called fat
ahem, fat and hungry.

Pent-Up Blogger

Boxer Edwin Valero found dead in jail
Better than a Jailer found in a box.

At 40, Lopez balances motherhood, marriage, movies

and giant ass.

Official: Kyrgyz president leaves Kazakhstan
I bet he was going to his spelling lesson.

Cuba's Catholic cardinal says country in crisis
Sesame Street was brought to you today by the letter C.

Carolyn Rodgers, Poet, Is Dead at 69
This doesn't even rhyme.

Bill Clinton: The Lessons of Oklahoma City
Decent food, Crappy Airport & Blow Jobs are only $13

Polish President Is Buried in Krakow
I don't get it.

Palm Loses Executive, Retailer
But it will always have your wiener.

Blueberry Extract Slows Tumors in Mice
and taught Violet Beauregarde a very important lesson.

Revisiting the Suicide Doctor
ahem, "Unsuccessful Suicide Doctor". I'm just sayin'!

Schools Put Emphasis on Ethics
Oh, did they fire their Union?

Favorite WSJ Online Post of the Day. 3.29.10

Two Papers in One!

"Seizing the opportunity presented by the Congressional holiday break, Mr. Bush announced 17 recess appointments--a constitutional gimmick that allows a president to appoint someone when Congress is in recess to a job that normally requires Senate approval. . . . Modern presidents have employed this power to place nominees who ran into political trouble in the Senate. Presidents Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton made scores of recess appointments. But both of them faced a Congress controlled by the opposition party, while the Senate has been under Republican control for Mr. Bush's entire five years in office."--editorial, New York Times, Jan. 9, 2006

""--New York Times editorials commenting on President Obama's Saturday announcement of 15 recess appointments, quoted in full as of March 29, 2010

Favorite Facebook Thread of the day 3.29.10

Copeland Winthorp Hennesy At work two days ago, a co-worker of mine was claiming that Obama is the anti-christ. And she was dead serious. I almost went ballistic but instead tolder that statement was ridiculous and that she was severly misguided. Man people are fucking nuts.
Sat at 10:49am · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Jason Price Dude...who was that?
Sat at 11:07am

Copeland Winthorp Hennesy Lori D****y (name removed to protect non-participants)
Sat at 11:36am

Jason Price Ha! Thats cute.
Sat at 11:38am

Peter Nichols I thought Obama was the Anti-Buddha. I am so confused!
Sat at 12:46pm ·

Martin Baba Here's the straight dope. B. Hussein Obama is the Anti-Christ. There is irrefutable PROOF on the website link below:http://o.bamapost.com/Our only hope is prayer, God and the upcoming mid-term elections (provided that Obama doesn't declare martial law and declare himself dictator for life).
Sat at 2:45pm

Evan Morris dat's nucking futz!
Sat at 8:32pm

Beth Bee Republicans are the worst man!!
2 hours ago

Peter Nichols What does this have to do with Republicans?
about an hour ago ·

Jason Price you tolder.
about an hour ago

Peter Nichols “The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. I like a little rebellion now and then.” - Thomas Jefferson
about an hour ago ·

Jason Price What does this have to do with republicans?http://news.harrisinteractive.com/profiles/investor/ResLibraryView.asp?BzID=1963&ResLibraryID=37050&Category=1777What does Thomas Jefferson and sedition have to do with my cousins original status update?
47 minutes ago

Peter Nichols Granted , your familial status gives you the edge, but I too have an article:http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB10001424052748704094104575143713101937570.html
Take that!
35 minutes ago ·

Peter Nichols As for Thomas Jefferson & sedition. I didin't even know he used his basement for hiding people!
34 minutes ago ·

Jason Price clearly, with what may be true in the article you refered to, you should acknowledge that the people who agree that the president is the Antichrist are delirious. No? John may or may not be my cousin.Some things that you read are not true.... See MoreAssuming that all that is writtin is true, this worry about who the antichrist is or is not is a waste of everyone's time.
25 minutes ago

Peter Nichols Protecting a person's right to say something does not assign agreement with the statement. I once saw a guy link a Thomas Jefferson quote with Sedition. As foolish as it sounded, I believe he had the right to say it.
12 minutes ago ·

Long Live Boner!

Do killer whales belong in theme parks?
They belong on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

Longtime congressman tells NY's Paterson: Drop out
Y'know, do as I say, not as I do.

Cruel winter's latest insult bears down on East
Nothing is more cruel than an Insult Bear.

Jobless claims rise due to weather-related factors
Hurricane Barack

Bush, Cheney meet for first time in more than year
2012

Toyota chief blasted by lawmakers despite apology
Leave him alone, he said "I solly"!

Breaking news: Boner is dead‏
Not if you believe in the second coming.

2.16.10 Prediction:

I don't think Senator Evan Bayh is really retiring from politics. Next stop, Iowa.

Livestock are people too!

Ancient dialect extinct after last speaker dies
His last words were gibberish.

Livestock anti-cruelty language OK'd
Does this mean I can finally call a pig "Mother Fucker"?

Obama says health bill might die
Sounds like another campaign promise.

Fewer airliners crashed in 2009, but more died
I'm waiting to see how the NY Times give credit to Obama and blames Bush too.

Researchers find trigger for narcolepsy: study
That sounds like an interestzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Pelosi: Where Are the Jobs, Mr. President?

Pelosi: Where Are the Jobs, Mr. President?

August 1, 2003 Washington, D.C. -- House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released the following statement today on the Bureau of Labor Statistics' announcement that 470,000 people abandoned their job searches in July and that 3.2 million private sector jobs have been lost since President Bush took office: “The fact is that President Bush’s misguided economic policies have failed to create jobs. Since President Bush took office, the country has lost 3.2 million jobs, the worst record since President Hoover. And today we learned that in July nearly half a million people gave up looking for a job. “Job losses are taking a real toll on the financial security of American families. While Democrats are fighting for opportunity, jobs, and economic security for working families, Republicans continue to focus on helping those who need help the least. “According to today’s survey, while the national unemployment rate dropped slightly, it still stands at a near record high. In addition, the unemployment rate for African Americans was still over 11 percent in July, and the unemployment rate for Hispanics was 8.2 percent in July. “It is time for President Bush and the Republicans to get to work for all Americans, not just the elite few.” ### http://www.house.gov/pelosi/press/releases/Aug03/prWherearetheJobs080103.html

I Love It!