Kwik-e-Blog

Hundreds of Pakistani activists launch a cross-country protest
On a side note: 7/11 stores will be closed for the rest of the day.

Hundreds of Pakistani activists launch a cross-country protest
OK, this is bad, but if there is ever a Pakistani attack on July 11, it would be very ironic.

Pope acknowledges Vatican mistakes in bishop case
Well sure, you always want to lead with your knight.

Alaska Gov. Palin's daughter, fiance break up
This will keep MSNBC busy for the next two weeks.

Museum finds "secret" message in Lincoln's watch
Quick, call Nicolas Cage...no, make that Tom Hanks. I have a movie to pitch!

Grab a blog. Don't cost nothin'.

Children of older men have lower cognitive abilities, study finds
BULLSHAT!

Former Nazi camp guard charged 29,000 times
One volt at a time. That'll show him!

Former Nazi camp guard charged 29,000 times
"I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."

Teen gunman dead after killing 15 at German school
It's too bad the school wasn't a Gun Free Zone.

Whale shark saved in Philippines, may be smallest
On a side note: I'm the smallest giant ever.

Report: Images from Mars lander show liquid water
Liquid Water? Let me write about it with my special ink pen!

BJ & The Blog

More evidence that depression is hard on the heart
Great. Why don't you just rub it in some more!?

Obama decision on stem cells cheers scientists
Now they can stop focusing so heavily on Global Warming.

Maytag voluntarily recalls 1.6M refrigerators
Even lonely repairmen can freely remember the days before in-door crushed ice.

Scientists warn seas to rise faster than expected
Must be all the new stem cells.

PROMISES, PROMISES: House fails to zero out carbon
"That was only important when Bush was in office."

Washing machine liberated women most?
Men liberated women most.

Gov't forcing wildlife group to ID leak's source
Or, as they used to call it when Bush was President, "Civil Liberties Hate Crime."

Obama urges special rewards for best teachers
Cops: Man with ice cream in pants offers owner $69
Any way the Catholic Church can get in on some of this action?

Today's Highlight in History:

Ten years ago: President Bill Clinton, during his tour of Central America, addressed lawmakers in El Salvador, then traveled to Guatemala, where he acknowledged the U.S. role in Central America's "dark and painful period" of civil wars and repression. and then he got a blow job.

Gooder English 101

Britney Spears' 'Circus' kicks off in New Orleans
This Just In from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

Obama seeks major change in federal contracting
For instance, make all kickback checks payable to: B. Obama.

Clinton: Israeli home demolitions 'unhelpful'
I wonder if they disunderstood her, becuase she only speaks American.

Phew! Asteroid's passing was a cosmic near-miss
I've noticed that the Obama 'Transparency' is always after the fact.

Bad altimeter a factor in Netherlands plane crash
Earth was a major culprit too.

Michael Jackson seeks comeback in London
as in "Comeback to my room, lad"?

Thought for Today: "When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen." — Pauline Frederick, American broadcast journalist (1908-1990). ...oh, sorry. Did you say something?

Brilliant

Obama: The CliffsNotes

Decoding the president.
By KIMBERLEY A. STRASSEL

Any high-school kid with a set of CliffsNotes knows Moby Dick is so much more than just a whale. Any American watching the new administration might wish for a similar study guide.

Thirty-nine days, one press conference, one congressional address, and one budget into this presidency, Barack Obama is finding his groove. Out of the early chaos has emerged an administration with a set of talking points. The president is now honing these explanations of what went wrong, and how he will make it right.

Yet, as with any complex character, what Mr. Obama says isn't always what he means. (Even Melville would've found Washington a bit deep.) So here's a handy guide to the larger meaning beneath Mr. Obama's more frequent lines. Hang it on the fridge for easy reference.

- "We are not going to get relief by turning back to the very same policies that for the last eight years doubled the national debt and threw our economy into a tailspin." Translation: Blame Republicans, and tax cuts.

Mr. Obama inherited a deficit, though it wasn't caused by letting Americans keep more of their paychecks. It was caused by a need to rebuild the military to fight two wars (at least one of which he supported), and by that worn-out old idea known as spending, which lost the GOP its majority, and which Mr. Obama is now touting as economic elixir.

He also inherited a recession, though no economist with an IQ above 60 would suggest tax cuts caused the housing bubble. That came courtesy of easy money and loose lending standards, the latter of which Congress encouraged. Presumably, if tax cuts were responsible for the deficit and the recession, Mr. Obama wouldn't be constantly boasting that he wants tax cuts for 95% of Americans.

The wider goal is to vaguely link everything conservative with everything gone wrong, the better to present liberal ideas as a cure. Besides, it's useful to have a GOP to keep blaming, if the cure doesn't work.

- It's time to "make hard choices to bring our deficit down." Translation: Hello, higher taxes.

The thing about cutting deficits is that there are only two choices, one hard for politicians, the other hard for Americans. Government can reduce spending, or government can raise taxes. Mr. Obama made clear with yesterday's budget he has no intention of cutting back. So the hard part now falls to Americans, who are being told they have a patriotic duty to their children to pay more, and cover Washington's costs.

- "The only way to fully restore America's economic strength is to make the long-term investments that will lead to new jobs, new industries, and a renewed ability to compete with the rest of the world." Translation: Big government. President Obama loves the word "invest." (He used a form of it 11 times in his congressional address on Tuesday.) It sounds so modern and free market, and, most important, not like what it really is -- "spending." The administration is aware that the deficit is now the story. Thus Mr. Obama's suggestion that blowing out hundreds of billions for health care, energy and education somehow isn't Washington as usual -- but will instead yield American riches down the road.

Of course, no country has ever made good on such a promise. Washington, D.C.'s return on investment for investing $14,000 a year per student is a 40% high-school dropout rate. Government can create industries, though only those, like corn ethanol, that can't cut it without perpetual government aid. We're still waiting for Medicare to turn a profit. Nevertheless, investment is a catchy term. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi recently described her giant $410 billion 2009 omnibus spending bill as a similar "investment." Never mind that it contains 8,500 earmarks and the largest increase in discretionary spending since Jimmy Carter.

- "We need to make clean, renewable energy the profitable kind of energy." Translation: Your utility bills are going up.

Electricity from solar power costs, about, 15 cents per kilowatt hour. Electricity from natural gas costs, about, four cents. The only way to make solar power "profitable" is to further subsidize it down to the price of natural gas, or to make natural gas as expensive as solar. Mr. Obama's cap-and-trade plan does the latter, placing a tax on fossil fuels, which companies pass along to consumers. Sen. Jim Inhofe (R., Okla.) reminded Congress on Wednesday that its most recent climate bill, Lieberman-Warner, would have cost Americans $6.7 trillion. Fortunately for the president, he will not have to include that sum in his new, more transparent, budget.

- "If your family earns less than $250,000 a year, you will not see your taxes increased a single dime." Translation: For now.

The president's budget proves he intends to tax the top 2% of earners at effective rates much higher than under Bill Clinton. Still, even if he taxed 100% of this group's income, it wouldn't come close to covering his budget costs. Nor will winding down Iraq. If Mr. Obama is committed to his agenda, much less his deficit reduction, the middle class will have to give it up.

At least he didn't say "read my lips."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123569711858288917.html

What do you get when you cross 007 and Maude Adams?

Economy doesn't dampen Mardi Gras festivities
especially since New Orleans' economy is my taxes.

In a recession, watch out for crashes
Look Out Below!

Octomom fell fast from Miracle Mom to punch line
Octomom sounds like a punchline to a James Bond joke.

Missing Mass. teacher, teen student found in W.Va.
It's OK, the teacher is a woman.

Drive to enfranchise DC clears Senate hurdle
I think Memphis should get its own Senators too.

Slumblog Trillionaire

Major stock market indexes fall to 1997 levels
But in 1997, when Bill Clinton was President, these numbers were a fantastic display of his eminent brilliance!

US Airways won't charge for sodas after all
Ice, on the other hand...

Obama declares plan to halve deficit in 4 years
Obama opens summit, pledges $15B for Medicaid
Uh oh. Did Obama forget to tell Obama?

Mass. health system is being tested by recession
"Um, we didn't factor in economic fluctuations."

Ginsburg in court after surgery
If it was for a face-lift there should be punitive damages.

Wall Street financier to advise auto task force
just as soon as he gets out of jail.

Growing HIV rates among gay, bisexual men in Asia
Speaking of Fluctuations, don't do it!

Official: Pentagon report says Gitmo is humane
Of course it is. Obama is President after all!

Food poisoning strikes 1 in 4 Americans each year
Sounds like something the democrats should ban.

Iran Has More Enriched Uranium Than Thought
That just blows my mind!

Raise the price of gas to $4 – before the next oil crunch
OK, but only if you charge $100,000 for abortions too.

Indians Celebrate ‘Slumdog’ Oscar Success

I think this one has his reservations.

Return of the Blog!

Obama names urban affairs director
If this job doesn't scream "Bill Clinton", I don't know what does.

US fears North Korea power struggle
Breaking News from 1950.

Report: Fetal stem cells trigger tumors in ill boy
I hope they don't become Fatal stem cells.

Fashion sector seeks aid as crisis bites
"Give us billions or people will stop looking Fierce!"

Holder: US a nation of cowards on racial matters
It's true...however, speaking the truth is also considered a hate crime.

You Tell Us: Have you ever been paid off the books?
It looks like Yahoo and the IRS are finally working together!

Killer to be executed in June, court decides
Why put off till tomorrow what can be done today?

Cache of Ice Age fossils found in Los Angeles
and they are known as Nick Nolte & Ed Asner.

Wall Street falls amid ongoing economic concerns
it's not economic concerns, it's 'change'.

Huge gamma-ray blast spotted 12.2 bln light-years from earth


Black ministers may rethink backing Sen. Burris
Isn't that profiling?


Today's Highlight in History:
In 1959, the Dow Jones industrial average closed above 600 for the first time, at 602.21. The stock market isn't dumping, it's just Obama trying to celebrate a 50th anniversary. Way to go Mr. President!

Womyn are people too!

Last week the National Organization for Women issued a press release on an important topic:

The recent arrest of R&B star Chris Brown, who reportedly assaulted and threatened singer Rihanna, preventing her participation in the Grammys, has brought the ever-present issue of violence against women into the public spotlight once again.

"Everyone is talking about this case because it involves two popular recording artists, but the sad reality is that domestic violence and dating violence happen every day, even among young teens, and the impact is both far-reaching and under-reported," said Gandy.

We actually had not heard of Chris Brown or Rihanna, but we're willing to take NOW's word for it that they're popular. Gandy certainly has a point, though: Domestic violence is a big problem, and one that affects not only celebrity-Americans. Just surveying recent news articles, one can find lots of shocking cases involving the less well known.

Here's an example from suburban Buffalo, N.Y., reported in the Buffalo News:

Orchard Park police are investigating a particularly gruesome killing, the beheading of a woman, after her husband--an influential member of the local Muslim community--reported her death to police Thursday.

Police identified the victim as Aasiya Z. Hassan, 37. Detectives have charged her husband, Muzzammil Hassan, 44, with second-degree murder.

"He came to the police station at 6:20 p.m. [Thursday] and told us that she was dead," Orchard Park Police Chief Andrew Benz said late this morning. . . .

"Obviously, this is the worst form of domestic violence possible," Erie County District Attorney Frank A. Sedita III said today.

CNN reported yesterday that police say Mr. Hassan has confessed.

NOW's statement on Mrs. Hassan's beheading was short and to the point: .

There is an irony to this story that goes unremarked by NOW: As the Buffalo News explains, "Muzzammil Hassan is the founder and chief executive officer of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light."

Those who portray Muslims in a negative light often point out that Islamic culture tends to treat women unfairly, even brutally. If Mr. Hassan beheaded his wife, it may have the effect of perpetuating the very stereotypes he hoped to combat.

The Associated Press reports from Murietta, Calif., on another shocking domestic-violence case:

A self-proclaimed polygamist was sentenced Friday to seven consecutive life prison terms for torturing seven of his 19 children, abusing four others and imprisoning two of his three wives.

Mansa Musa Muhummed, 55, also was sentenced to additional terms totaling 16 years and eight months by Riverside County Superior Court Judge F. Paul Dickerson III, who said Muhummed's treatment of his family amounted to "a reign of terror over defenseless children."

This report from New York's Daily News is appalling too:

Mohammed Fagirad, 30, a vice consul at the Afghanistan Consulate, brutalized his wife inside their Flushing home from about 8:30 a.m. Wednesday until nearly midnight, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said.

During the attack, Fagirad bit, slapped, choked and beat the 22-year-old woman with a belt, pushed her down a flight of stairs and sat on her chest, prosecutors said.

At one point, prosecutors said, Fagirad threw his wife up against a wall, held her there by the neck and then let her drop to the floor, where he beat her with a belt.

Fagirad told police his "wife was a dog and he was going to treat her like a dog," prosecutors said.

Here are NOW's statements on the Muhummed and Fagirad cases, in their entirety and edited only for spelling and punctuation: .

Hey, come to think of it, when Gandy complains that people don't care about domestic violence when it doesn't involve celebrities, she speaks from direct knowledge.

*Hat tip to WSJ Online