Monday, December 28, 2009

Tersely Worded Blog

Suicide bombing in Karachi kills 20
When, oh when will Obama ban mass suicide?

New restrictions add to air-travel headaches*

unless it offends Muslims

Families of 3 Americans held in Iran hire lawyer
You hear that Iran? A lawyer!

First case of highly drug-resistant TB found in US
Thanks Obama!

125 pilot whales die on NZ beaches, 43 saved
If you keep pushing them back they'll never learn to walk!

Task force formed to probe Massachusetts fires
In Ohio the task forces put them out.

The nation's weather
George Bush

Detroit explosive common, easily detectible
It normally shows up after NBA Championships.

US condemns violence in Iran
Well, that solves that!

Police: Ivana Trump becomes angry, taken off plane
Officials say man on Sunday flight posed no threat
It's not like he was a Czechoslovakian ex-wife of a real estate mogul!

Obama vows to use power to thwart terrorists*
*unless it offends Muslims

Charlie Sheen's wife claims he threatened her
Wasn't his proposal warning enough?

Ponzi collapses nearly quadrupled in '09
Yet Social Security rolls on.

What’s Missing in Airport Security?


Stimulus Timing

Before Obama it was called 'foreplay'.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Bad Santa

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What if she's geekstrating?

Iran missile test draws Western condemnation
You hear that Iran? The west is quite displeased!

Geeks Drive Girls Out of Computer Science
So, is 'Geek' a euphemism for men?

Power Outage At OSU Affects Non-Essential Employees
Especially if they were on life-support.

Tiger Woods Doctor Being Probed
Then his doctor is a slut, just like the rest of them!

House OKs junk-food ban
and by "House", I mean "Wife".

Mammoths Were Alive More Recently Than Thought
Is thinking dead?

Intelligence Improperly Collected on U.S. Citizens

Or, as I like to call it, Election 2008.

ABBA, Stooges to join Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
ABBA? Why not Obama? He's earned it dammit!

Today's Highlight in History:
In 1976, the government halted its swine flu vaccination program following reports of paralysis apparently linked to the vaccine. Obama keeps looking more and more like Carter.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Finally: a tastefully racist gift guide!

Plan your holiday shopping with the Of Color | Stylish Gifts list from The New York Times 2009 Holiday Gift Guide .

Of Color | Stylish Gifts
Somali fashion, do-it-yourself henna kits, children's books that draw inspiration from the lives of Barack Obama and Sonia Sotomayor: it's not hard to find gifts created for and by people of color this holiday season.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Brilliant 12.9.09

Every serious person should welcome the president's proposals to lift the dormant economy and reduce unemployment. Not because every serious person would agree with them but because they are a clear test of how a left-wing government would run the American economy.

If this works, hats off to them and we become France. If not, Americans may finally dump left-wing economics into the ash heap of history, starting next November and then in the next presidential election, which can't come soon enough.

The first purpose of the jobs proposals Mr. Obama announced Tuesday—TARP money for Main Street, tax credits for new hires, more infrastructure spending and the weird weatherization program—is to bail out Democratic incumbents. The underlying strength and resilience of the American economy may yet produce enough headline growth the next 11 months to slow the panic over employment levels by next fall.

No Democratic president, though, can just say, "I'm doing this to save the Pelosi majority and to protect the state and local jobs of Andy Stern's dues payers and party regulars in the Service Employees International Union." Mr. Obama's saving grace is that no matter how political his initiatives, the reasons he offers for what he's doing generally do describe what is at stake.

And so he did at the jobs summit: "We've got the most entrepreneurial spirit in the world, and we've got some of the most productive workers in the world. And if we get serious, then the 21st century is going to be the American century, just like the 20th century."

Too true. This global competition is what lies beyond the politics of next November's employment rate. Still, one must ask: Can weatherization save us from a billion Chinese workers?

Apologies for the glibness, but I don't see how one can sort through the Obama economic policies and conclude that we have a strategy for sending America's best and brightest entrepreneurs onto the battlefields of Asia. It looks instead like we're going to spend a generation looking for jobs in Uncle Sam's hiring hall of targeted tax credits and industry-specific subsidies.

Everyone in politics genuflects in the direction of the job-creation powers of "entrepreneurs" and their ideas. But the generation of Democrats who rose to power with the Obama presidency and the current House majority don't really trust or much like real entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurship, the kind that creates industries and jobs on the scale we'll need in the next century, is about two things: Ideas that spring randomly from some slightly crazed dreamer's head; and worse, they often get filthy rich if the dreams are real. The left likes neither.

In their country, government guides capital to ideas prewashed for goodness. As to letting guys get rich, we know about that problem. Hating it isn't just political. It's cultural.

But unless these Democrats can reverse habits of history dating to the Renaissance, entrepreneurship's new men not only will build businesses and create new jobs, they'll still tend to measure their self-worth with outsized yachts, mansions and other crimes against prevailing norms of taste. The new Democrats bear a visceral antipathy toward these people, whom they've reduced to the lumpen "Republicans."

Barack Obama campaigned for a year against "the top 1%" and "the wealthiest." It sounded like more than economics to me. But a nation can't have entrepreneurs and eat them, too. Asia is overflowing with rich entrepreneurs. Google "China's auto industry." They have more new auto manufacturers than you can count. If the U.S. has any hope of competing long term with this rising force, it will have to let some Americans get as rich as nouveau riche Asians. This presidency won't do that.

At the jobs summit, Mr. Obama said "I want to hear from CEOs what's holding back our business investment." Really?

How about the world's highest corporate tax rate? How about the 5.4% health-care surtax on top of the expiring Bush tax cuts, which will push the top marginal individual rate, paid at the outset by many entrepreneurs, well over 40%?

Set aside income taxes as the unransomed hostages of progressive dogma. Justify this: The Senate health-reform bill imposes a $4 billion annual excise tax on medical devices and diagnostic equipment. In a slow-innovation economy, which is what we have now, medical and diagnostic miracles sit at the intersection of American science, technology, education and IQ. That stuff defines American entrepreneurship and ingenuity. If the Obama Democrats will tax these people, they'll tax anything that produces income, no matter how innovative or job-creating.

The Obama bet is that the U.S. can be a Franco-German welfare state, with a mammoth public sector, and still compete with China, India, Brazil, Korea and the rest. This is a pipedream. We are going to spend four years treading water. If we tread quickly enough, we may get enough growth to save the Democrats, but not the nation.

Write to

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

PUBLISHED 12/2/09!

It's Always in the Last Place You Look

  • "Goodwill Workers Find Marijuana in Donated Jug"--headline, KARE-TV Web site (Minneapolis), Dec. 1

Click here to view or search the Best of the Web Today archives.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to:...Fred Furia, Bruce Goldman, Peter Nichols, Brian Fisher, Bill Kriebel...If you have a tip, write us at, and please include the URL.)

You only think I gave you the finger.

Officials hope poison will stop Asian carp
um, you mean Crap?

Tiger Woods regrets 'transgressions'
I don't care how he dresses, he's still an amazing golfer!

Will raising meter rates by 50 percent hurt Downtown-area businesses?
DUH! Businesses should just raise their prices to make up for the loss in customers.

Skeptical Dems resign themselves to Obama war plan
That's the kind of principled stance I've come to expect from them!

White House Blocks Testimony on Crashers
That's the kind of transparency I've come to expect from them!

Fort Hood suspect charged with attempted murder
He should be charged with a Sunbeam toaster during a water-boarding session.

It's the thought that counts, not the fingers.

Iran President Says Nuclear Enrichment Will Increase
It's sad when this guy's statements are more believable than your own President's.

Deer runs through Jersey City, leaps into Hudson
So what? Liberace' was buried face-down in the Hudson.

New York State Senate Votes Down Gay Marriage Bill

OK, but what if you live in Queens?

Maybe it's time for me to declare my heterosexuality, once and for all!

Today's Highlights in History:

In 1804, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor of the French. and promptly surrendered to himself.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Silent Tiger, Holy Tiger.

Cougars open with a strong showing
Too bad their boobs are so saggy.

Mont. historians seek to recognize 100-year farms
They're the ones with the really old looking barns.

Bowden meeting with school officials on future
I'm still hopeful that we'll all have jetpacks.

Winds drive icebergs away from New Zealand

Exercise Prevents Aging of Cells
Point taken, but the prisoners still look like shit!

Michael Jackson death charges expected to take months
Maybe that's why he overdosed. It was quicker.

Tiger Woods withdraws from tournament, not talking
Jeez, it's not like he has to become a monk!

Alec Baldwin says lost interest in acting, will soon quit
..immediately after he moves to Canada if Bush gets elected.

Binion's closing Las Vegas hotel; casino remains

Or as Vince would say, "Why sleep when we can gamble?"

Tempers rise as Senate moves toward health vote
Unfortunately anger-management will no longer be covered.

Ohio Charity Workers Find Marijuana in Donated Jug
Dude, this is the best Christmas ever!

US November auto sales struggle to gain ground
Maybe the government should create a special trade-in progra...oh wait. Nevermind.

Latino group seeks delay for BMV residency proof
Latin America's first gay marriage thwarted
Jorge can't even think about the wedding, the dress or Juan since the Impala was impounded!

Today's Highlight in History:

In 1934, Soviet communist official Sergei M. Kirov, an associate of Josef Stalin, was assassinated in Leningrad, resulting in a massive purge...of his blood.

One year ago: Actor Paul Benedict, who played English neighbor Harry Bentley on "The Jeffersons," died on Martha's Vineyard, Mass., at age 70. And so continues the "Jefferson's Curse".