Words Just Flow Out of Me, Like Cornflake Monkey Happenstance.

Police name man who shot himself
"We've all settled on 'Shithead'."

Sharon Stone: Was China quake `bad karma?'
It would also explain her current career.

Prizes offered to attract teachers for blind
First Prize: Corneas!

Mayor still pushing for leasing of sewers
Plus he got a sweetheart deal on a fully-loaded
manhole just coming off a 2-year program.

Presidential candidates urge end to Darfur
I recommend using one of those Environmentally Friendly Bombs.

Kennedy has major cancer bill in Senate
plus his Health Care tab is being picked up by taxpayers!