Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Man arrested in connection with deadly Mass. fire
This finally answers the question: "What happens when you rub two alter boys together?"

Will Profiling Passengers Work?

Where. At the racist factory?

Anti-whaling boat damaged during protest at sea
Sounds like Anti-Evolution to me!

Abrupt Democratic retirements show tough landscape
When the going gets tough, the Democrats leave.

Baltimore mayor to resign in plea deal over gift cards
She must be an Independent, as no party affiliation was mentioned.

Gilbert Arenas indefinitely suspended by NBA
ear Balls Area?
That seems harsh.

Reports: Jay Leno's future on NBC up in the air
Whatever NBC is, I bet suspension by it is painful.

UK police probe death of young lottery winner
Fla. sheriff fears missing lottery winner killed
Advice for the Unknown Lottery Winner

Comments by Fox's Brit Hume upset some Buddhists
Yeah. What about the constitutional separation of church and cable?

Vampires rule People's Choice Awards
You ever notice that there are no vampires at the Daytime Emmy's?

Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep on tap for SAG Awards
Streep will win, but Alec's Moobs should get an A for effort.

Frigid weather hits Midwest, -52 wind chill in ND
Al Gore could not be reached for comment.

Activists pursue Japanese whalers by helicopter
Nice use of fossil fuels!

US complains of Pakistan harassment of diplomats
Hear that Pakistan? CUT IT OUT!

Gaza militants fire mortars, Israel shuts crossing
Just wait till they start shooting bricks!

Experts: Cold snap doesn't disprove global warming
Trust us, we're experts.

4-legged animals emerged earlier than thought
So, I was thinki...oh look, a squirrel!

1-ton fake pig delivers Michigan birthday greeting
Michael Moore can sing?!

December retail sales show signs of life
Um, A little too late folks. It's January!

Today's Highlight in History:

In 1927, the Harlem Globtrotters were established. I wonder if they ever profiled during tryouts?

In 1942, the Japanese siege of Bataan began during World War II. Allegedly.

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