My President is smarter than a thermos.

Ex-Miss California Prejean admits sex tape
To be fair, I will reserve my judgment until I view the tape 30-40 times.

Mutual of Omaha settles 'aha' suit against Winfrey
Take on me!

Obama says it's now Senate's turn on health care
Give the man credit for finally starting to understand the political process!

Navajo Code Talkers to be in NYC Veterans parade
Please don't litter, or he'll cry.

Somali pirates demand $3M for ship with 18 crew
Plus, it has a half bath and they'll help with closing costs!

FBI reassessing past look at Fort Hood suspect
How reassuring!

China sends panda expert to Taiwan to aid breeding
Why don't they just send a horny panda?

Minn. man allegedly assaults worker with backhoe
ahem, an alleged backhoe.

W.Va. man wants relief from flocks of birds
I reckon he could run, run so far away.

Accenture to Add 8,000 Staff in India
Imagine training them all to pronounce "Accenture".

EU objects to Oracle's takeover of Sun
Neo is gonna open up a can o' whoop-ass too.

Obama pressed into role as healer, inevitably
For he is, THE ONE!

Obama says he wants to visit Hiroshima in future
Healer, Time-Traveler, How do he do it!?!

Today's Highlight in History:

In 1917, 41 suffragists were arrested for picketing in front of the White House. END WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE NOW!

In 1975, the ore-hauling ship SS Edmund Fitzgerald and its crew of 29 mysteriously sank during a storm in Lake Superior with the loss of all on board. Except for Gordon Lightfoot.