The right hand knows what the left hand is doing.

Man dies of self-inflicted wound after stabbing wife
From the headline I am guessing that he must have been a Hermaphrodite with Multiple Personality Disorder who married himself in Massachusetts. Good thing he wasn't a gun-toting nutjob!

Iran charges American journalist with espionage
STAND BACK! Obama may write a tersely worded rebuke.

Obama looking at cooling air to fight warming
He could stop speaking. That would help.

Obama looking at cooling air to fight warming
He could borrow Karl Rove's Minority-Hating Weather Machine®

North Korea holds massive pro-rocket rally
I heard that the invitation offered Free Food!

In double transplant, left hand works first
Note to self: Switch priorities on list from Masturbation to Guitar Chords

FACT CHECK: Do smokers cost society money?
NicFitz's Economy Repair Guide:
1.) Promote Smoking
2.) Charge huge tax per pack
3.) Reduce U.S. Lifespan & Medicare recipients
4.) Profits!

CDC: Mild flu season apparently winding down
I blame Global Warming.

TV dramas colored by Mexico's drug violence
So, let me get this straight... drug use and violence on TV may have an impact on the general public and an illustration of a camel will make kids want to smoke, but porn & slasher movies do not have any affect on rape or murder stats?

Botswana travel contest: 'Who's Your No. 1 Lady'


Brit officials wrestle with cost of cancer drugs
Sadly, they lost the battle with dentistry.

BBC apologizes over jokes about jockey's teeth
Blimey, they was just so bloomin' straight!


Thief nabbed with 68 tubes of toothpaste
In England, they call him Robin Hood.

Obama's on-target message to Muslims
"Please don't kill us."

Treasury says some insurers qualify for TARP
or they can borrow my DROPCLOTH.

Today's Highlights in History:

In 1952, President Harry S. Truman seized the steel industry to avert a nationwide strike. (The U.S. Supreme Court later ruled that Truman had overstepped his authority.) He should have focused on the car companies.

Ten years ago: At a White House news conference, President Bill Clinton said NATO could still win in Kosovo by air power alone and then he got a blowjob.

Bill Clinton's Golf Course Blowjob Face

Five years ago: Fred Olivi, who copiloted the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Nagasaki, died in Lemont, Ill., at age 82. ...and the "Curse of the Elderly Pilots Who Dropped the Big One" continues.